my fav picture of me. Hidden behind a lens.

So here I am..tapping away at 217 in the morning. My flight is at 6, and I need to get out of the house by 415. Did I mention I need to shower and make breakfast/coffee for my pops who is taking me to the el aeropuerto?

I’m off to see my sister, but thoughts of the past haunts me. Thoughts, and people that is.

I got an email from a friend who I haven’t spoken to in over a year and a half. Let me be clear to some folks…you cannot be legit friends with someone you find seriously attractive. As soon as you envision them naked (and if you don’t cringe or bust out laughing), that’s it. The friendship boat has sailed. Hell, it burned down in flames and is now exploding.

Well, that friend emailed me. I miss him terribly. He currently has a girlfriend, and that does not help my state (of mind).

As for the other friend, he kicked my butt and told me to move forward. He is in his life, and I am supremely jealous. I am glad he reminded me of what I needed to do. I wouldn’t be the same person without him.

Here are two men in my life who can definitely made an impact on me. One who showed me a glimmer of hope of what love (or something like it) could be. The potential was there, and that I have alot of commitment issues to deal with. Or fear. whatever.

The other who reminded me of what I can be, what I should be, and that I need to work harder in everything that i do. Peru feels so long ago….

But here I am. Some things need to seriously change. Me being one of them.

Good night  —J.